To be honest I don't really have anything to say. But since I was doing this blog to try and help me through some tough spots, I thought I would post today since I am in a tough spot!
I have been doing really well emotionally. I am feeling 'better', more 'normal'. I have been coping. But today meh, not so much. All of a sudden the negative thoughts are back. I feel like crap. Unloved and unloveable. I don't want people to say oh but I love you either right now, that would feel fake. The down side to blogging is that getting how you feel out there can sometimes look like you are attention seeking. I guess that is why it has taken me a lot to decide to blog this.
Things are not that bad, I have been a lot worse, but after feeling well for a little bit, to feel like this again really sux. My twitching was almost non existent to me anyway but today I twitched. At family dinner I started having an anxiety attack. Just typing this is making this little witch twitch.
So what to do what to do? I hope when I wake tomorrow I will have returned to normal!
I do not understand depression at all, honestly its horrid.
There has been a bit going on, we are having a family feud :-( I hate it. I hate the bad behaviour from all of us. I feel just awful about it all. But we are not the only ones, something is not right with the world at the moment. Have you noticed it too or is it just me?
I have 2 other friends who are fighting with family too. I have 1 friend who is causing a drama. I see on facebook people unhappy or having bad days and it just seems to be more frequent.
Today my youngest children were fighting. This morning Zac hurt Grace on the trampoline and she had a bleeding mouth. This afternoon Grace threw are car at Zac's head resulting in a rush to the Dr and a very sad Zac.
What is going on?????
Somebody Please BRING BACK THE HAPPY!!
I'm not going to tell you I love you (but I totally doooooo).
ReplyDeleteBut you're right. After doing so well, a step backwards feels like utter crap. I hate them.
It is, however, just a step. It can be regained. You will feel better soon. But you do have a bit going on, and you're a non-confrontational person, so there was no way this wasn't all going to take a toll on you. I'm genuinely sorry for my role in that.
Be kind to yourself. Accept that there will, on occasions be setbacks. But you ARE getting better.
This is where I would normally write that I love you and can't wait to see you. But I won't. ;-)
It isn't just you babe. Everything is out of whack at the moment. Things are not right everywhere.
ReplyDeleteTake what you have learnt in this past year and know that you are doing better. This is just a minor setback, you have come so far. Know that I am here when you are ready and always thinking of you.
If I'm not allowed to say I love you then is it okay to say I really, really like you? Praying for you xo