It’s almost been twenty years since I met you. I haven’t seen you in 15 years and haven’t spoken to you in over 10 years. Wow just placing things in a time frame that still amazes me. I don’t know where the time has gone, you were in my life for such a short time in retrospect and yet, no one has made a bigger impact on my life than you. After all this time, I think about you almost every day. I dream about you and I can still smell the scent of you, it doesn’t sound pleasant when described but yet it is the scent of you and one that I love, it’s a mix of maleness and beer and a hint of cigarette smoke. If I am left long enough in peace with my thoughts of you I can even still feel you. I don’t know where you are, how you are if you are married, if you have children. Do you think of me?
It isn’t logical; it is pure insanity, these thoughts and feelings I still have. And for what? My life continued without you, I travelled, married and had children. I have a busy and fulfilling life, and yet amongst all the love and blessing I have in my life there is still a small empty place in my heart reserved for you. Do I have a place in your heart too?
You didn’t treat me well, we both know it. But of all the should have, could have, would have’s that hang over our past the one thing I regret is in the end I hurt you too. It was purposeful, and the repercussions of that still haunt me to this day. Not that it excuses what I did, or what you did. We were young and naive. Ah, hindsight, if only…….
I wish you well, my friend and my love. I will never forget you and no matter how hard I try to deny it, I will love you for the rest of my life. You were my first, my first love and one that no one else can compare to. I am so sorry, for so many things. I wish I could tell you now that I love you with all that I have.
It isn’t logical; it is pure insanity, these thoughts and feelings I still have. And for what? My life continued without you, I travelled, married and had children. I have a busy and fulfilling life, and yet amongst all the love and blessing I have in my life there is still a small empty place in my heart reserved for you. Do I have a place in your heart too?
You didn’t treat me well, we both know it. But of all the should have, could have, would have’s that hang over our past the one thing I regret is in the end I hurt you too. It was purposeful, and the repercussions of that still haunt me to this day. Not that it excuses what I did, or what you did. We were young and naive. Ah, hindsight, if only…….
I wish you well, my friend and my love. I will never forget you and no matter how hard I try to deny it, I will love you for the rest of my life. You were my first, my first love and one that no one else can compare to. I am so sorry, for so many things. I wish I could tell you now that I love you with all that I have.
Welcome to blogging. I think it's wonderful that you shared this piece with us. I hope that in time, it helps you find peace and closure.
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Liss
I am really liking your writing. Well done for your first post! Writing like this is very therapeutic! Much love xo
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