My son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers, inattentive ADD and High Anxiety. I am not sure about the ADD but the rest fits. Well it fits to me anyway....
Of course I don't want my son to have Aspergers, or anxiety or anything that may impact him in a negative way, something that will make him "different". However, it is what it is!
When we share the news with family and close friends, some people are telling me, Oh yeah well that explains a lot. Others are telling me, are you sure? He just seems like a normal kid to me! What is that? Normal? Do you seriously put him and us through all the stress of seeing specialists and paying huge amounts of money to get to the bottom of these issues and help him be the best person he can be if we didn't know something wasn't right?
Is it "normal" to have huge meltdowns, violent outbursts at home? Is it normal to only be able to wear 1 or 2 types of shorts because you can't stand the feeling of them? Is it normal for a boy who is 7 years old to not be able to recognise that someone is crying? My list goes on..... Josh is very high functioning. He is an awesome boy who I adore and am so proud of. As far as ASD goes, we have very little if anything to complain about. But I just don't understand people's response to the diagnosis.
Do people struggle with what the don't know? Are they trying to get their head around it? Do people behave the same when they are told a friend or loved one has cancer? Or any medical condition? Does it make people feel that uncomfortable when someone they know is not "normal" - whatever that means...
I am not complaining and am sorry if it has come across as such. It is just an observation, that I struggle to understand and I must confess I am a little over justifying myself and my son.
Why can we not just accept people as they are? Learn about their 'condition', educate ourselves so we can understand terminology when they share information. Research the condition so that we can understand them better, but not judge or doubt or criticise or profess to know how they are feeling. It seems to me that although there are common links when people share the same condition, because we are all different, our personal response is different.
Lets celebrate our differences, learn to embrace something new and different, be supportive, and learn to love those close to us. Let us become a safe place for them to come..... It will mean the world to someone.
Sadly people don't understand. Ignorant to the subject. Research. I'm still learning daily about it. I love Josh. I'm not going to turn a blind eye because I may not understand. Truth is, Josh is different. He is not defined by his Apsergers though. He's as different as the next person. You know him better than anyone. Don't let people second guess that. Don't you ever feel like you have to justify either. The poeple you have to do that with are truly not worth your time. My Jay is different. So very different I haven't met a child like him yet. You are one of the very few that truly know him & his special things. You can't ignore different just because you don't know. It's sad that people do. Just know that you always have us. We love you guys & all your differences like you do us xoxo
ReplyDeletei am a girl with aspergers, i find life at school extremley hard because no one understands
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